Snappy Answer No. 1
A stewardess was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man
approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his coat and
flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket,
not your stub."
Snappy Answer No. 2
A lady was picking through the frozen chickens at the supermarket, but
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked the shelf stacker,
"Do these chickens get any bigger?"
He replied, "No they're dead."
Snappy Answer No. 3
The policeman got out of his car and the lad who was stopped for speeding
rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the policeman
The lad replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the lad on his way
without a ticket.
Snappy Answer No. 4
A truck driver was driving along. A sign came up that read "low bridge
ahead." Before he knew it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets
stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car
arrives. The policeman gets out of his car and walks around to the truck
driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck?" The truck
says, "No mate, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol."
Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR No. 5,
A university lecturer reminds her students of tomorrow's final exam. "Now,
won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider
a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your
immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!".
A smart-arse bloke in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What
would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter.
When silence is restored, the lecture smiles sympathetically at the student,
shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I suppose you'd have to write the
exam with your other hand."